if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize