I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize