Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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