the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
