she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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