I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
