Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Text me some of your sweat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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