remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
