Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
