Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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