I'm drive I can fine osifer
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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