How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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