he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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