I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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