we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He passed out mid-signature
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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