Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I want to be your penis for a week.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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