But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
