My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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