I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize