How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
