she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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