I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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