i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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