Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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