Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
