Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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