I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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