I am spending my child support on dildos
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
