I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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