we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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