Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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