I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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