Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
