I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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