I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
