my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize