careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
