For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
