I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
