I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize