Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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