You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
