Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
