i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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