Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize