I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
