I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
