Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
