im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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