Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize