the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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