You're completely useless in the revolution.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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