when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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