Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
why does every cop we meet know your name?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
