we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So vagazzling was a success
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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