she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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