dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
