Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
