i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
