Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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