She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
