Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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