Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
