just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
