talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
