lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is Oprah even human
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize