It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
