just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
