Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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