i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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