I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize