btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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