We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
