Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
