So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
